Count To Three Salsa

In my opinion a perfect mix of spicy but not over powering. It seems really mild but count to three and…


1 jalapeno pepper

1 long hot pepper

1 baby sweet pepper

1/4 cup diced onion (optional)

2 cup diced tomato

1 Teaspoon brown sugar

1 sprinkling of chili powder

Dice each pepper into really really fine pieces (I personally use my slap chopper to quickly reduce them to tiny minced bits). Be careful with the Jalapeno, they are REALLY hot and should be used with a light hand. Wear gloves if possible and be sure to wash your hands. Mix ingredients together and sprinkle some chili powder in.  Enjoy cold with your favorite chips. Ideally it should come out with a sweet initial taste but a sudden burst of pleasant spice within three seconds.


I made mine because a full pepper was too much to spice my meat with for the Plantain recipe so I used half of those items to make the salsa


Bigotoni rigate

Pasta magnate Guido Barilla doesn’t hate gays he just “doesn’t agree” with them (over chintz v. linen? Paper or plastic?).

“I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don’t agree with them. Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role,” Barilla, 55, said in an interview with Radio 24 on Wednesday.

He’s just a traditionalist, see.

” I simply wanted to highlight the central role of the woman in the family.”

Back in the kitchen, bitchez!

And if we don’t like it, Barilla invites us to “eat someone else’s pasta” (which is like Other People’s Pussy but pasta). I’ve got your pasta right here, papi.


Bigotoni rigate


1 pound Barilla rigatoni rigate
1 jar Barilla marinara sauce
2 “lesbians”
1 pig man

Bring water to boil. Add thick, ridged rigatoni. Cook until turgid.

Meanwhile,  place “lesbians” in position on kitchen island. Instruct “lesbians” to make duckface at you while practicing traditional scissoring. Yell at wife to get in here and finish the ‘sketti. Slap wife on ass while grinning Silvio Berlosconi-style.

Molto delizioso!