Deviled ham salad

-1/2 pound ham, diced then re-diced until it’s nearly shredded.

-2 scallions, sliced thin

-1 heaping teaspoon prepared Grey Poupon dijon mustard. No other brand is acceptable

-two tablespoons mayonnaise. Only two brands are acceptable: Hellmann’s or Duke’s

-1 teaspoon Lea and Perrin’s Worcestershire sauce.

-1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon

-1/8 teaspoon cayenne

-1/4 teaspoon salt

-Several big fuckin’ grinds of black pepper

Whisk liquid ingredients together into a dressing. Add diced ham, scallions and mix well to coat. Taste and adjust spiciness.

Cover and refrigerate for at least one hour, or better yet, overnight.

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