Humans like fried foods, right? Vegans and vegetarians should not be deprived of this delicious treat. This is my version of the tastiest damned fake meat chicken nuggets I’ve ever had. My friend Sarah took me to this awesome vegan restaurant in Columbus, Ohio. They have hearty diner food down to an art. Seriously yo. If you have a Loving Hut franchise in your area, run, don’t walk. It’s seriously good and carnivores will love it.
Note—Loving Hut is a total hippy transcendental freak cult, but the food is great and the staff don’t push it. How awful can a freakish vegan cult of non-violence be anyway? LH is presided over by this lady who calls herself supreme master Ching Hai who publishes books of herself ‘shopped with all manner of lap dogs. Just sayin’.
Seitan (see basic seitan recipe)
1 cup flour
1/3 cup bread crumbs (whole wheat are great)
1 tbsp garlic powder
½ tsp cayenne or other hot pepper
1 Shit-ton of ground black pepper (this is the key to a “fried chicken” style breading)
½ tsp salt
Cut your seitan into strips, chunks, cutlets, whatever. Dunk in buttermilk, or plain milk, or water, then coat thoroughly in breading. Buttermilk—or yogurt cut with milk or water—gives a nice tang, but it’s not essential if you don’t have it on hand. Really press the seitan down into the breading and make sure it’s thoroughly coated.
Allow seitan to air dry for at least 20 minutes. This is key to a good, consistent crust that doesn’t flake off or get greasy.
Bring several inches of oil to frying temperature in a saucepan. Proper temperature is hot enough to crisp food and brown the breading all over in about five minutes, but without sucking up excessive oil and without smoking. You don’t need a thermometer. Here’s how to know if your oil’s ready. Drop a small piece of seitan in. It should start to bubble, but not too vigorously. It ought to take about 30-45 seconds for the piece to start browning. If it’s too fast or slow, adjust accordingly. With practice on your own stove with your own pans, you’ll get it.
Fry in small-medium batches, turning seitan over during cooking. Remove and drain/blot well on paper towels. Serve with dipping sauce.